Not breaking any new ground here. Not writing any kind of thesis. Just venting on the fact that is very difficult to live in a relationship where the person you are with does not have the same desires that you do. It's not the meeting people that are into it. It's not even getting them to love you. It's finding someone that has a particular set of fetishes/desires that match yours. Short term it's easy to let infatuation or freshness take hold and move you past any real world difficulties but as time moves on and the normal struggles of every day life begin to encroach upon your play time it just gets more difficult. This is even more difficult when you genuinely fall in love with aspects of this partner but need...and I hope you understand that I what I mean when I say NEED...to have all aspects of your life fulfilled. You start to doubt yourself - asking yourself if bdsm is really that important to you. You probably start to jerk off too much. You get grouchy and start to treat that person in ways that you would not have thought you could. You grow cold without the warmth of someone that understands you and more importantly wants to make you happy. If you are a decent person you are doing what you can to please them. You are trying to make things equitable. You really want things to work out because you really love the person. But you start to feel unloved. You are convinced that the lack of play is a lack of love. And you get twisted by the fact that you know that if you love them you will accept them for what they have to offer and not what you want them to. But then it's all chicken and the egg because you have to ask yourself if they really love you wouldn't they try harder or at the least communicate what they do want. (this is of course assuming that the person was at least somewhat into/open to the lifestyle) and you don't want to let them go. Aside from opening a relationship or ending it just how do you reach a happy ground? Can you?
